i woke up at 7:48 this morning and these Headcanons abt Lance were the first thing on my mind so here they are:

• favorite swear word is bitchin’
  
• owns at least 24 different tubes of lip balm. they’re not all one brand. he’s in a perpetual state of losing and finding them, so he maybe actually has about 3 at any given time
• literally will not stop buying lip balm???? and justifies it with the fact that he can never find any
• “lance you already have that one” “no no that’s one’s tangerine orange, this is mango tangerine splash”
• will forgo necessities to drop $60 on face cream at sephora
• is not terrible with money in the sense that he does, indeed, know how to budget… however he’ll pay for things for others with little to no thought even if he doesn’t actually have the cash to spare and won’t realize he made a Huge Mistake™ until later when he has to explain himself and his mum is giving him that fond but frustrated Mom Look®
• from growing up in a big, happy family, he’s used to feeling loved, validated + cared for as well as looked out for and naturally puts out those same Inclusive, positive vibes as a result
• doesn’t give a second thought 2 teasing, because that’s just how he grew up. teasing = fondness + affection
• automatically assumes the people he cares about will have his back, whether they deserve/have earned that trust or not
• game for literally anything, give him a dare he’ll probably do it
• unless it’s something like toss his skin care products down the disposal, he’s reckless, not stupid KEITH
• super giving. super gullible. super trusting. doesn’t usually think twice about someone’s ulterior motives unless u 1) have blatantly given him a reason not to trust u or 2) are Keith
• space was not the first time he’s been handcuffed
• also not the first time he’s been handcuffed to a tree, specifically,
• (please don’t ask)
• (ask hunk instead, he loves telling it)
• lance is 100000000% the friend who sends chain text messages
• at least 5% of lance’s personality IS a chain text message
• vaguely related: pidge has developed a “do not disturb” function from their helmet to lance’s so they can tune him out if needed. keith has begged them to modify his as well. they refuse. let him Suffer
• lance does not give a fuck about double texting, he will text you 67 times in a row. you cannot limit him. imessage is on his side. he can and will keep going
• he’s perfected the art of the Verbal Double Text as well
• hence, pidge’s modifications
• is the friend who doesn’t use your name in his phone, but instead, gives you some weird nickname that you DEFINITELY DID NOT APPROVE
• recently used emojis: 👏 💅 😎 ✨ 👅 💦 🌚 🍆
• never wears cargo shorts, unlike hunk, the Cargo Short King
• does wear socks with nike sandals tho (we all have our vices)
• prefers magazines to books
• he’ll read books but he’s a bit of a slow reader because he likes 2 Soak It All In so most people assume he just doesn’t read
• he also gets embarrassed because he feels like people are judging him for reading slow so he tries to keep it on the DL
• favorite movie is Die Hard
• second favorite is The Tigger Movie
• has gotten into a fight with a vending machine at least four times
• always tries to look sexy when drinking from a water fountain. success rate is debatable
• way into horoscopes
• he knows they’re not real but when he reads them he’s like “damn, #tru” every time
• Fantastic Kisser™